'Dear Friends' September 2009

 

Week of September 7, 2009    In the Loop Dear Friends:        If you're of a certain age, you probably played two forms of "telephone" when you were a child. The first was using two cans and a string. Fun . . . but not all that effective. The second was getting all the children into a circle and whispering something to the person closest to you. He or she would pass it on -- in a whisper -- to the next in line. And so on. Needless to say, by the time the final child announced what had been said, it bore little or no resemblance to the initial message.        We were thinking about both of those this week when we learned of some ways multiple "co-caregivers" are helping a single loved one . . . and trying to keep each other in the loop with accurate information. Here are four of their suggestions:        --An online calendar (such as Google) that can be made available to others by invitation. It can be set up so that any of the invited can also edit what's on there. It's a handy way to keep track of who's doing what when and the care-receiver's appointments. It's easily updated . . . and can't be misplaced. It's also possible to set up the calendar to send you (by text or email) reminders about a specific appointment.        --A shared document online. Again, unlike a public blog, this can be set up so that the it's private but there's access for specific people. It's a way of reporting what's going and of checking in to see, for example, what happened at the latest doctor's appointment.        Obviously, some details wouldn't be included because, even though it's "private," there's the argument that nothing is 100 percent certain to be private if it's on the Web. It would be advisable to use initials instead of names, for instance, or abbreviations or "code words" the family would know but others wouldn't.        --E-mail can be more reliable than making phone calls to others, especially if you have to repeat the same information over and over. (Then, too, when that information is passed on down the line . . . it can be like that children's game.) Another advantage of e-mail reports is that, message by message, you (and others) have a pretty reliable log and timeline of what's been going on.        Keep in mind you can also have family e-mail messages and then send more general messages to your loved one's friends and fellow parishioners who want to know how your care-receiver is doing but it would be inappropriate to send them all the details that the family has access to.        --Stuck without a paper and pen and really need to remember what the doctor said or to pick up that prescription or to change that appointment or . . . ? Phone yourself and leave yourself a message.        There's a lot to be said for "low-tech," too. Keeping a running journal/log -- using a spiral-bound theme book, for example -- at the care-receiver's home is a great way for each co-caregiver to report what happened when he or she was there on duty and catch up on what's been going on while he or she was away. - - -        It's always a treat when someone from a "new" country becomes a member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. ("New" to FSJC, that is.) This week we're so very pleased to welcome Apolonia Valeria R. from Fiji. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of September 14, 2009    Doing Good . . . and Well Dear Friends:        Do the readings at Sunday Mass ever seem to come through your "caregiver filter"? What we mean is, sometimes do the selections really seem to focus on some aspect of taking care of a family member or friend? Two passages hit us that way last Sunday, September 13. If a brother or sister has nothing to wear and has no food for the day, and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, keep warm, and eat well, ” but you do not give them the necessities of the body, what good is it? So also faith of itself, if it does not have works, is dead. Indeed someone might say, “You have faith and I have works.” Demonstrate your faith to me without works, and I will demonstrate my faith to you from my works.                                            --James 2:15-18   He summoned the crowd with his disciples and said to them, “Whoever wishes to come after me must deny himself, take up his cross, and follow me.  For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and that of the gospel will save it.”                                            --Mark 8:34-35       Caregivers don't just advise loved ones to keep warm and eat well. They give them "the necessities of the body." By their works, caregivers demonstrate their faith.        And, day by day and night by night, they "lose their life" by making countless sacrifices for that other person. (We hear from some who have even given up jobs and homes and friends to move to where a loved one is located.) They do that out of love, and (as St. John taught! (1 John 4:8)) God -- Christ -- is love. By that "dying," they gain grace, the very life of God within them.        Caregivers do good: They serve others who needs help.        And caregivers do well: Though far from perfect, they're living as Christ asks all his followers to live. - - -        This week we're pleased to welcome two new members to the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to Father Arul I. in California and to Rosemary DM. in Florida. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of September 21, 2009    Free Gifts for . . . and from . . . You Dear Friends:        As usual, we received a couple of requests this week from folks who were asking for copies of St. John the Caregiver and Our Lady in Need holy cards and "The Little Book of Caregiver Prayers." Asking for multiple copies. We've noticed that some people hesitate to ask for more than one copy of each but we assure them -- and you -- that we're truly pleased when someone asks for more than one. And we love it when someone asks for a lot!        We'd love it if you asked for a lot. For . . .         Your family and friends. Your fellow members of the Legion of Mary or the people you visit as a Legion of Mary member. Your Knights of Columbus council, Catholic Daughters of the Americas court, or St. Vincent de Paul council. The extraordinary ministers of the Eucharist in your parish who visit the sick and the homebound. Your guild members or fellow Serrans. And on and on.        Hosting a Church-related luncheon or dinner and looking for small gifts the guests? Want to acknowledge and thank the family caregivers in your parish? Holy cards and prayers books!        As always, that material -- and all that we offer -- is free. No cost for items, no shipping, no handling. No limit. No strings. Free means free.        We encourage you to check out our order form and send us an e-mail, give us a call (toll-free), or send us a letter and let us know what we can send you. - - -        We had hoped to see some of you at the National Council of Catholic Women's convention this week in Florida. Unfortunately, a change in the agenda meant no "round table discussions" (brown-bag luncheon presentations) this year. We had been schedule to speak at one of those. - - -        This week we're pleased to welcome Michael A. in Illinois as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep him and his intentions in your prayers. He has promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of September 28, 2009    A Vocation Before a Vocation Dear Friends:        Imagine having a saint for a sibling. It would have to be wonderful . . . and tough. St. Therese of Lisieux (whose feast day is this Thursday, October 1) had four sisters. All five of the girls entered the convent. Eventually. Even the baby, Therese, got in before the fourth daughter, Celine (pictured left). It seems it wasn't that Celine wanted to wait. It was God who gave her a vocation before that vocation. What delayed her? Being a caregiver.        Their father, Louis Martin, had been a widower for many years when he developed dementia (which, at times, caused the family great embarrassment as well as concern) and he was confined to a wheelchair. One would assume that, with five adult or teenaged daughters, the caregiving duties would be divided among the siblings without one or two bearing the brunt of the load but  . . . . Three of the four (including Therese) were in the same cloistered convent. The fourth had joined a different religious order but even if she had been available, odds are she could have offered little support because she had emotional problems throughout her life.        That left it all up to Celine Martin, who helped her father -- day after day and night after night, as so many caregivers do -- until the time of his death. It was only then that she was able to take the next step, the one she had put on hold, and entered the convent.        Last October the Church beatified the parents of those five girls. That's the final step before canonization. Therese, canonized in 1925, is also a Doctor of the Church and the patroness of the missions.        Still . . .        Sometimes it helps to remember that although God calls all of us to become saints, we aren't necessarily saints when he asks us to become caregivers. And even within a family that has a saint, it isn't necessarily that person he invites to the challenging, and very personal, apostolate of caregiving.        You may not be a saint . . . yet. Or ever. But God has asked you. And he's with you now. And always. - - -        New material for October has been posted at CatholicCaregivers.com. - - -        This week we're pleased to welcome Jon T. of Washington state as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep him and his intentions in your prayers. He has promised to pray for you and yours.        We cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver, too. You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" notes "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter