'Dear Friends' March 2009
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Week of March 2,
2009
Purple Days
Dear Friends:
It's always a little startling when the priest enters
the church to celebrate Mass in these early days of Lent
and he's wearing purple
 vestments. Yes, you know that
color can be symbolic of penance and Lent is a time of
praying, fasting and sacrificing but still . . . Those
green vestments used in Ordinary Time -- another
liturgical season -- suddenly have more appeal.
Maybe you couldn't make it to Mass on Ash
Wednesday because of your caregiving duties. Maybe your
schedule was free that morning or evening but you were
just too tired from all the others appointments and
obligations helping a loved one can entail.
Yes, you wish you had received the ashes.
Yes, you wish you could make it to daily Mass at least a
few times during the weeks of Lent. Yes, you used to do
better at choosing a Lenten sacrifice and sticking to it
but now . . .
Now an excerpt from the first reading from
last Friday's Mass is especially appropriate for you
(emphasis added):
This, rather, is the fasting that I wish:
releasing those bound unjustly,
untying the thongs of the yoke;
Setting free the oppressed,
breaking every yoke;
Sharing your bread with the hungry,
sheltering the oppressed and the homeless;
Clothing the naked when you see them,
and not turning your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed;
Your vindication shall go before you,
and the glory of the LORD shall be your rear guard.
Then you shall call, and the LORD will answer,
you shall cry for help, and he will say: Here I am!
--Isaiah 58:6-9
You are making sacrifices, and not just during
Lent. You're doing what God asks all of us to do and
what he asks you, specifically, to do to help your loved
one. (Who, of course, is also his loved one!)
This may not be the Lent to give up coffee,
to get to weekday Mass, to spend a half hour in the
evening reading scripture. God willing, there will be
other Lents for you. Right now, you're doing what God
has asked you to do . . . right now.
And, we feel safe to say, he is well
pleased. He is with you.
- - -
If you'd like to see what the readings are for Mass each
day, you can go the United States Conference of Catholic
Bishops' site:
USCCB -
(NAB) - March 2, 2009. (The left column has a
calendar to get to a specific date.)
And, as we mentioned last week, Creighton
University in Omaha, Neb., offers an
on-line Lenten retreat.
- - -
We were so pleased that so many people chose the
beginning of Lent 2009 to become members of the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver, including our first member
from Africa. (That makes it nine countries on five
continents.) Please join us in welcoming Barnes O. from
Nigeria, Laura O. from Idaho, Marvine O. from Nebraska,
(Oh, what a week!), Jennie M. from Tennessee and Laura
T. from Ohio.
Please keep them and their intentions in
your prayers. They have promised to pray for caregivers
and those receiving care.
If you've been considering become a member,
we encourage you to become a member this week. It's very
easy. (No meetings, no dues!) All we ask is that you
pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our
members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those
who support both (including quite a few former
caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Monica and Bill
To contact us
To join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make prayer
requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
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|
Week of March 9,
2009
One Hour
Dear Friends:
We weren't surprised that the congregation was a little
sparse
 at
the 9 o'clock Mass yesterday morning at our parish.
Changing the clocks the night before -- "springing
ahead" one hour -- meant it felt like 8 and, no doubt,
some folks decided to go to the 11 o'clock Mass instead.
Which felt like 10.
It's always a little unsettling going into
or leaving daylight savings time, even though it's only
an hour's difference. An hour doesn't sound like much
but . . .
As you know, we frequently refer to "St.
John the Caregiver" and Jesus, from the cross asking
that apostle to take care of the Blessed Mother (John
19:26-27). It was on the previous day, Holy Thursday,
that Jesus spoke to John, his brother James, and Peter
about "one hour." The Agony in the Garden (Mark
14:32-42) tells of Our Lord asking the three of them to
watch -- and pray -- for one hour with him but none of
the trio was able to stay awake.
Sometimes an hour is a long time. Sometimes
it's hard to do something for an hour. Sometimes there
are other things we would prefer doing (watch TV, read a
book) or things our body seems to demand we do (sleep!).
In many ways, that describes what caregiving is like for
many caregivers.
It isn't 24-hour care. It isn't long stretches of
time, day after day. It's an hour here (getting a loved
one to a doctor's appointment) or an hour there (waiting
at the pharmacy). It's being on hold with the insurance
company or changing sheets and doing the laundry or . .
. . Or any number of items that -- one by one -- "are
only . . . ."
Over a week, over a month, over the years, those
hours add up. We're here to tell you that you're not
alone if you say to others, or to yourself, "I'm not
really a caregiver. I'm only . . . ."
You are a caregiver. And those hours
-- as scattered as they may be -- aren't going
unnoticed. Your heavenly Fathers sees each of them. And
your brother Jesus, the one who said "whatever you do to
the least, you do to me," is aware of them, too.
Time after time, God has asked you to help
one of his beloved sons or daughters -- for just "one
hour" -- and that's exactly what you've done.
It's what you're continuing to do.
- - -
As we've been mentioning in recent letters, if you'd like to see what the readings are for Mass each
day, you can go the United States Conference of Catholic
Bishops' site:
USCCB -
(NAB) - March 2, 2009. (The left column has a
calendar to get to a specific date.)
And Creighton
University in Omaha, Neb., offers an
on-line Lenten retreat.
- - -
Again this week we invite you to join the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. (Now with members in nine countries
on five continents!) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers).
You can:
If you've been considering become a member,
we encourage you to become a member this week. It's very
easy. (No meetings, no dues!) All we ask is that you
pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our
members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those
who support both (including quite a few former
caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Monica and Bill
To contact us
To join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make prayer
requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
|
|
Week of March 16,
2009
Family Caregiving is
Unique But Universal
Dear Friends:
The lobby of a local senior center was packed last
Friday as guests lined up for its annual St. Patrick's
Day luncheon. In the next
 room,
staff members were busy hanging shamrock decorations and
green crepe-paper streamers. "You don't have to be Irish
to celebrate St. Patrick's Day," one fellow commented
and then quickly added, "but I am."
In many places, March 17 or the weekend
closest to it has become a time to celebrate St.
Patrick's Day no matter what your nationality, heritage,
culture, religion or ethnicity may be.
That singular feast day continues to also
become a worldwide holiday and while the celebrations
have common characteristics some areas may have
particular traditions.
In a similar way, the same holds true
for family caregiving.
It's unique: my spouse,
my aging parent, my child with special needs.
(Or, within a family, our loved one.)
But it's
also universal: families around the world are taking
care of someone. And while there are common
characteristics, there are also particular traditions:
In some circles, it's customary to use assisted living
facilities and nursing homes. In others, it's more
typical for a care-receiver to remain in a family
member's home.
No matter the circumstances, no
matter the customs, no matter the cultural expectations
or traditions . . . caregiving is challenging. At times,
it's hard to have a care-receiver in your home even
though "this is how we do it." At times, it's
hard to have a care-receiver in a nursing home or other
facility even though "this is what's best" for him or
her, "this is the way it has to be."
Our prayer for you, as the Church begins
the Third Sunday of Lent, is that -- no matter what your
situation may be -- you'll become more aware of the
presence of God in your life and know that you aren't
alone.
- - -
As we've been mentioning in recent letters, if you'd like to see what the readings are for Mass each
day, you can go the United States Conference of Catholic
Bishops' site:
USCCB -
(NAB) - March 2, 2009. (The left column has a
calendar to get to a specific date.)
And Creighton
University in Omaha, Neb., offers an
on-line Lenten retreat.
- - -
This week we want to welcome two new members to the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to Kay A. in
Illinois and Rita S. in Washington. Please keep them and their intentions in
your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers
and those receiving care.
If you've been considering become a member,
we encourage you to join this week. It's very
easy. (No meetings, no dues!) All we ask is that you
pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our
members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those
who support both (including quite a few former
caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Monica and Bill
To contact us
To join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make prayer
requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
|
|
Week of March 23,
2009
The Blessing -- and Aggravation! -- of Technology
Dear Friends:
We're old enough to have learned to type on a
typewriter. A manual. To remember our first transistor
radio. To recall the big
 move
from a black-and-white TV to color. To have marveled at
a handheld calculator and a digital clock. To continue
to be amazed at the march -- at the tidal wave -- of
technology.
(No, we didn't listen to radio programs as
kids. Figured out our age? We were born in the final
full year of the Truman administration. The year Ike was
elected the first time.)
Since you're reading this letter on a
computer with Internet access, we know you have some
tech savvy. And, as a caregiver, you've probably also
noticed how the world of medicine -- from a doctor's
office to a hospital room -- seems to have more
high-tech gizmos and doodads than . . . well, than Buck
Rogers' spaceship.
Technology has been on our mind this week
because an upcoming switch in cable TV delivery has
meant a new receiver box and a new remote control at our
house. Because we need different software to keep
producing our Web sites (what we're using is "obsolete"
and won't be used by our Web host for much longer) and
that means learning new software. Because an upgrade in
office software was a bit of a disaster. (Grrr.)
Because our office phone line is making woo-woo sounds
and not in a happy way. Because, our office computers
informed us, late yesterday, we didn't have access to
the Internet and we weren't sure we were going to be
able to post an updated letter this week.
But, step by step, we're
getting by. Becoming accustomed to the remote. Learning
the software. Sorting through the upgrade. Calling the
phone company -- on another line-- to get the primary
line checked and fixed. And, following the computer's
diagnosis, getting the connection between the Internet,
our modem and our router back in working condition.
We mention -- all -- this not because we're
looking for sympathy but because, we're sure, there are
some days when you feel that way. When the "new and
improved" just seem like more work or, worse, they don't
work correctly.
We all yearn for "simpler times" and, with
selective memory or a poor understanding of human
history, we assume times past were simpler.
Yes, in some ways. No, in many others.
As one care-receiver -- so tired of the
doctor visits, the stays in the hospital, the daily
regimen of medicines -- asked, "People didn't used to do
all this. What did people used to do?"
The caregiver, knowing her loved one was
both serious and joking answered in the same mixed tone:
"Well," she said, "they died."
Some things haven't changed in the last 10
years. In the last 100. Or 1,000. Or more.
Caregiving is hard. Challenging. Personal.
It's love made visible and that can never be replaced by
technology.
Thank you for what you're doing. You remain
in our prayers.
- - -
This week we want to welcome two new members to the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to
Allen M. in Indiana and Jane R. in Wisconsin. Please keep them and their intentions in
your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers
and those receiving care.
If you've been considering becoming a member,
we encourage you to join this week. It's very
easy. (No meetings, no dues!) All we ask is that you
pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our
members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those
who support both (including quite a few former
caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Monica and Bill
To contact us
To join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make prayer
requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
|
|
Week of March 30,
2009
Great Ideas . . . From You
Dear Friends:
For us, one of the --many -- joys of being a part of the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver is meeting and getting
to know
 caregivers,
care-receivers and people who support both. Sometimes
that's in person. Most often it's over the Internet. But
whether it's face-to-face, by mail, by e-mail or over
the phone, these associations have been a great blessing
to us.
And they've helped FSJC -- and
YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com --
provide better service.
A recent example is an e-mail we received
from a priest in Nebraska. He was giving some talks and
wanted written material on caregiving to hand out to the
audience members. Needless to say, we were happy to
oblige. (It's because of FSJC's generous and faithful
donors that we can supply all our material at no
charge!)
Father L. also asked if we had anything on
the topic of adult children -- taking care of aging
parents-- talking to their children about caregiving.
Something for "the bottom layer" of the "sandwich
generation."
We didn't. But it was a great topic and so
we've made it the subject of the April edition of
Catholic Caregivers, the monthly flier available at
CatholicCaregivers.com. (We've also posted the
Bulletin Briefs and
Prayers of Intercession for April.)
Thanks, Father L.!
If you have an idea, a suggestion, a
comment or a question, please don't hesitate to contact
us. We're all in this together!
- - -
This week we want to welcome two new members to the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. "Hello" to
Laurie B. in Pennsylvania and to Dolores R. and all the
parishioners at
All
Saints Church in Dunwoody, Ga. All Saints has joined
a parish member.
Please keep them and their intentions in
your prayers. They've promised to pray for caregivers
and those receiving care.
If you've been considering becoming a member
(or having your parish become a member parish),
we encourage you to join this week. It's very
easy. (No meetings, no dues!) All we ask is that you
pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our
members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those
who support both (including quite a few former
caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Monica and Bill
To contact us
To join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make prayer
requests
Materials order form
Past "Dear Friends" notes
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
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