Problems with Mobility:
Wheelchairs, Walkers and Canes
Dear Friends:
We crawl and then we walk. We walk and then we run. We
go from here to there without even thinking about it.
Mobility is more
than
a symbol of freedom; it is an act of freedom. But while
mobility helps give us independence, it doesn’t always
last a lifetime. When an accident or a disease chips
away at a loved one’s mobility or takes a sudden swipe
at it, it’s hard on both the caregiver and the
care-receiver.
A parent may be forced to admit that he or she is getting old
and there will be an end. An adult child can no longer deny what’s
happening to Mom or Dad.
Obviously, the best way for your loved one to stay moving is to
simply stay moving. The adage of “Use it or lose it” remains true
here. It’s so much harder to go through physical therapy and make a
comeback than it is to remain in relatively good shape. But that’s
not always possible. A person can be hobbled by any number of
problems: an arthritic hip; a neurologically impaired foot; a leg,
or two legs, that must be amputated because of complications brought
on by diabetes; an entire side that is frozen by a stroke; and so
on.
Here are some things to remember when caring for a loved one
who has problems with mobility:
“Even if they [a
caregiver’s acts of kindness and service] go
unnoticed and remain hidden to most people, faith
assures us that the Father ‘who sees in secret’ (Mt
6:6) not only will reward these actions but already
here and now makes them produce lasting fruit for
the good of all.”
--Pope John Paul II, Evangelium
Vitae (“The Gospel of Life”)
- - -
Please
join us in welcoming Gregory D. of California and
Michelle B. of Washington state as the newest members of
the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them
and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to
pray for you and yours.
Again this week we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Yes, you would like to make a pilgrimage to Lourdes or
Fatima,
to
Jerusalem or Rome, to Mexico City or Compostela. No, you
can't, for many reasons, including your providing care
for your loved one.
Yes, you would like to pray more often and
. . . better. To attend Mass on a weekday, to say a
complete rosary without getting distracted or falling
asleep, to thank God for his blessings and graces
without fears and exhaustion crowding your mind. No, you
can't, for many reasons, including your providing care
for your loved one.
We want to assure you, to reassure you,
that you're already doing both because you're
providing care for your loved one.
Caregiving is a pilgrimage that has you
wandering along an unknown route to an unknown
destination. And each step, each stop, is holy ground.
Caregiving is a prayer composed of
generosity and fear and exhaustion and much, much more.
And your words, your thoughts, your acts of service and
compassion are a litany.
You remain in our prayers. Please continue
to pray for us.
- - -
Again this week we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
It isn't just care-receivers who can have a hard time
accepting help. It's their caregivers, too. That's
because, over time, every
caregiver becomes someone who
needs help from others, in one form or another.
The idea of the super-wife, super-husband,
super-adult-child, or any other super-caregiver is a
myth. Still, it can be hard to admit you have less than
super powers. Hard to let some household chores slip,
hard not to be the "best" volunteer at the parish, hard
to let others step in and lend a hand, hard to accept a
more structured form of
respite care for yourself, hard to go to a caregiver
support group.
Please know that doing those things can be
the best way for you to help your care-receiver. They may better
allow you to focus on what really matters: caring for your
loved ones in the ways that only you can, and being
rested enough to provide the kind of care you really
want to provide.
Accepting help from others can get easier
over time but it may always be a little difficult. You
would rather serve than be served.
And so would your care-receiver. Your
accepting help from others can be a good reminder of
why, sometimes, it's so hard for your loved one to
accept help from you.
- - -
Please
join us in welcoming the newest members of the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver: John S. in Ohio, Chris H.
in Pennsylvania, Robert A. in Massachusetts, and Jacinta
K. in Minnesota. Please keep them and their intentions
in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and
yours.
Again this week we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
One of the best pieces of advice a veteran parent gave
us when our firstborn was an infant was "nap when
you can." Don't let
that opportunity slip away.
Don't fill that time with all the other many things you
feel you need to get done. Even if you can't fall
asleep, at the very least stretch out and rest for 20 or
30 minutes.
That's not always possible for caregivers
and in an age that glorifies multitasking, it can
even be seen as a weakness if not an actual fault.
Hooey! Stand up for your right to . . . lie down.
Yes, we could add scientific and anecdotal
evidence here supporting the benefit of a good nap
but instead, we encourage to see for yourself sometime
this week. Take a "test nap." What a difference those
few minutes can make.
- - -
Congratulations to members of the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver in Australia and Canada! On Oct. 17, Pope
Benedict canonized six new saints, including Mother Mary MacKillop of Australia and Brother Andre Bessette of
Canada.
- - -
Please
join us in welcoming the newest member of the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver: Maryanne P. of Oregon. Please keep
her and her intentions
in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and
yours.
Again this week we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
than
a symbol of freedom; it is an act of freedom. But while
mobility helps give us independence, it doesn’t always
last a lifetime. When an accident or a disease chips
away at a loved one’s mobility or takes a sudden swipe
at it, it’s hard on both the caregiver and the
care-receiver.
to
Jerusalem or Rome, to Mexico City or Compostela. No, you
can't, for many reasons, including your providing care
for your loved one.
caregiver becomes someone who
needs help from others, in one form or another.
that opportunity slip away.
Don't fill that time with all the other many things you
feel you need to get done. Even if you can't fall
asleep, at the very least stretch out and rest for 20 or
30 minutes.