There may be times when your loved one simply says
no. When he or she wants nothing to do with what you’re proposing. You may
have come up with what you think is a great solution to whatever
problem or need your care-receiver is facing, but he or she doesn’t
see it that way. And so he digs in his heels or she gets that look
in her eyes, and you know it’s going to take a lot of work on your
part to get your loved one to budge on this one.
What can you do to avoid that kind of confrontation? --Prepare for a crisis. It helps to talk about concerns
early and often. It’s much easier to hold what-if discussions before
a crisis arises. “What if you need some help around the house?”
“What if you can’t safely drive anymore?” What could your loved one
do, what could you do, what could someone else do to help out? What
are other people you both know doing in those situations, or not
doing? The more comfortable your care-receiver is discussing
what-ifs, the easier it will be for him or her to tell you when he
needs the help. . . .
Again a reminder that you
can find Creighton University's daily online Lenten
feature, "Praying Lent,"
here.
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Shellie P. of
Nevada as the newest member
of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep
her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours. And we
cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member
here. No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
The feast of
St. Patrick is this Saturday, March 17. A
traditional prayer attributed to him is "The Lorica [Breastplace]
of St. Patrick." (Sometimes called "The Deer's
Cry.") It's a good one for caregivers. You can
read the entire prayer
here. These are some lines we especially liked. They
make a wonderful morning
prayer.
I arise today
Through God's strength to pilot me:
God's might to uphold me,
God's wisdom to guide me,
God's eye to look before me,
God's ear to hear me,
God's word to speak for me,
God's hand to guard me,
God's way to lie before me,
God's shield to protect me,
God's host to save me . . .
Christ with me, Christ before me, Christ behind me,
Christ in me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me,
Christ on my right, Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down, Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in the heart of every man who thinks of me,
Christ in the mouth of everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
I arise today
Through a mighty strength, the invocation of the
Trinity,
Through belief in the threeness,
Through confession of the oneness,
Of the Creator of Creation.
- - -
Again a reminder that you can find Creighton
University's daily online Lenten feature, "Praying
Lent,"
here.
- - -
And again this week we
cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member
here. No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Today, March
19, is the feast of
St.
Joseph and next Monday, March 26, is the
Annunciation. (Yes, it's a day later this year
because
the 25th is a Sunday.) What jumped out for us when we
read the Gospels for both days was that Joseph and Mary,
on hearing what was being asked of them, were afraid.
And rightly so. Certainly, that's the first reaction of
many caregivers as they begin, as they accept, that
calling. And it's an initial response for those who
realize they're now care-receivers.
Simply put, even these two members of the
Holy Family were fearful. (And were they ever when they
"misplaced" Jesus and later found him in the Temple!
That must have been an awful three days.)
Our point is fear is a part of life on
earth, no matter who you are. And to not necessarily
overcome that fear but to press on despite it, it helps
to keep in mind Mary's words to the servants at the
wedding feast at Cana, the scene of Christ's first
public miracle: Do whatever he, whatever Jesus, tells
you!
That means, of course, we have to
keep listening.
- - -
Again a reminder that you can find Creighton
University's daily online Lenten feature, "Praying
Lent,"
here.
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Diane F. on
Minnesota as the newest member of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions
in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and
yours.
And we
cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member
here. No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
This week we
thought we'd offer a little reminder that you can find
caregiver videos on our YouTube channel:
JohnTheCaregiver.
(They're all
available on two DVDs,
too. For free, of course.)
Here's a sample. It's
a concern a lot of families face:
"Helping a Loved One Give Up the Car Keys."
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Charlotte McC. and
Mary Z. of Louisiana as the newest members of the Friends of St.
John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions
in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and
yours.
And we
cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member
here. No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Here's
how our newest 
traditional prayer attributed to him is "The Lorica [Breastplace]
of St. Patrick." (Sometimes called "The Deer's
Cry.") It's a good one for caregivers. You can
read the entire prayer
because
the 25th is a Sunday.) What jumped out for us when we
read the Gospels for both days was that Joseph and Mary,
on hearing what was being asked of them, were afraid.
And rightly so. Certainly, that's the first reaction of
many caregivers as they begin, as they accept, that
calling. And it's an initial response for those who
realize they're now care-receivers.