Once
again the Olympic Games have had us
thinking about the similarities between
the athletes and family caregivers. We wrote about
the games in Beijing in our August 4, 2008,
Dear Friends
letter. These last few weeks all eyes have been on
Vancouver, B.C.
Certainly both Olympians and caregivers dedicate a
lot of time and effort as they focus on a goal that, at
times, presents a variety of challenges. And both, to a
large extent, rely on perseverance and inner strength,
even at times when they feel they can't continue. (On
the other hand, unlike Olympians, sometimes caregivers
have little or no time to prepare!)
Sad to say, family caregivers may not
receive any medals . . . in this life. But, be assured,
they -- you -- are storing up "treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor decay destroys, nor thieves break
in and steal" (Matthew 6:21).
The 2010 Winter Olympics has had us speculating
on what some winter-game "caregiver events" might be. Perhaps. . .
--The Insurance-Form Moguls. (There can be
more than a few bumps along the way to getting claims
settled.)
--The Generation Biathlon. (Two very
different skill sets are needed, back to back, if you're
a member of the "sandwich
generation." Stopping by the nursing home to have
lunch with Mom and then rushing to go pick up the kids
after school for soccer practice, for example.)
--The Daily-Schedule Luge. (Swoosh, swoosh,
swoosh, swoosh, swoosh. Get up the next day and do
it again!)
--Team Bobsled. (It's you and the others
who love your care-receiver racing along -- taking the
curves, handling the speed -- and always aiming for the
same goal: helping your precious loved one.)
--Speed Shopping, Short Track. (Stopping at
the convenience store on your way from here to there,
and zipping up and down the aisles to get exactly what
you need -- yes, the items are overpriced compared to a
bigger (slower) store -- and out the door.)
--Couples Figure Skating. (With you
and your partner; that is, your care-receiver. The
"dance" the two of you do, time and again in so many
ways, with each helping the other and both having the
concern that, at times, you're skating on thin ice!)
- - -
We're so pleased to welcome
Carmela V-B. of New Mexico as the newest member of the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep
her and her intentions
in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and
yours.
Again
this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver. (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
When the Professionals and Your Care-receiver Disagree -and-
Always a Parent: Worries About Adult Children
Dear Friends:
Who
doesn't love two for the price of one . . . even when
the price is free? We've added two new
Topics on
YourAgingParent.com
and included both for the March
"Catholic Caregivers" flier. Here are two excerpts:
When the Professionals and Your Care-receiver Disagree
Mom doesn’t want to move to a nursing home. Dad
doesn’t believe he needs someone in the house 24
hours a day if he’s going to remain there. Your wife
is absolutely set against surgery. Your husband
would be crushed if someone took away his driver’s
license. But these are the steps that the
professionals are recommending. What can you do?
The first reaction you may have to such professional
recommendations is “This can’t be true.” This is a
natural response. No one wants to hear the bad news
that a love one’s condition is deteriorating.
Maternal or paternal instinct isn’t something that
can be shut off once a child reaches a certain age.
In the midst of your concern for your parent, he or
she is also worried about you. That concern, that
love, has been a cornerstone in your relationship.
It’s not about to suddenly change now.
Your mother can’t help but worry when she sees how
much her problems and her needs stretch your
patience, your strength, your schedule. She knows
you’re overworked, frightened, and sad. You can tell
her not to worry, but she does anyway. She sees the
truth.
Here are some things you can do to help ease your
parent’s mind — and yours.
We're so pleased to welcome
Eleanor S. of Wisconsin as the newest member of the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep
her and her intentions
in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and
yours.
Again
this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver. (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
It
can be a little startling in the deep purple of Lent to
show up for Sunday Mass and find the priest decked out
in pink. (All right,
technically
perhaps we should say violet and rose, not purple and
pink.) Like Advent's Gaudete Sunday, Lent's Laetare
Sunday -- with its pink vestments -- is a reminder in
the middle of a penitential season that life isn't all
penance. That, truly, there are reasons to hope, and to
to rejoice.
(You can read more about
Laetare Sunday here and about
Gaudete Sunday here. And, we should note,
rose-colored vestments aren't required, just allowed.
Not every parish has them since they're used so
infrequently.)
In a similar way, in the midst of
caregiving and care-receiving, it's good to remember
there are reasons, there are ways, to celebrate, too. To
put aside the fears and obligations and all the rest, if
only for a short period, and . . . think pink!
There are two opportunities (very good
excuses) for doing that this week. The first is St.
Patrick's feast day on Wednesday. And the second is the
feast of St. Joseph, which is on Friday. Either is a
good day to split a decadent dessert, splurge on fancy
coffees, enjoy a favorite but rare entree, or find some
other way to have a "mini-celebration."
A caregiver needs that. And so does a
care-receiver.
Our advice is to take a tip from the Irish
when it comes to St. Patrick and from the Italians when
it comes to St. Joseph: Celebrate! (Here are recipes for
Irish
soda bread and for Italian
zeppole (St. Joseph's Day cake).)
- - -
Looking for other ways to mark anniversaries and
birthdays? That's a Topic on YourAgingParent.com. Read
more
here.
- - -
Want to find out more about liturgical colors? You can
read more
here.
- - -
Again
this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver. (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
In
this week's letter we thought we'd share a few on-line
resources that can enhance your prayer life. These are
some of the
ones we like: Audio: The
daily readings for Mass. Podcasts:
The
Rosary and
the
Liturgy of the Hours. (Here's how these can be downloaded on to
a
computer or an
iPod or an
MP3 player. Or, you can play the item on your
computer without downloading it.) Videos: Today's
Mass.
A
reflection on today's readings. (And this is a nice
educational series on the sacraments. Check out the
one on the Anointing of the Sick if this is something
you and your care-receiver have been considering.)
And, or course, we recommend "A Caregiver's Prayer" on
our JohnTheCaregiver channel on YouTube!
- - -
Again
this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver. (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
Blessings
on you and your loved one this Holy Week and Easter,
2010. Perhaps you can't attend the services at your
church this year
because
of your duties as a caregiver or your limitations as a
care-receiver but -- as we've said before -- be assured
that God understands. He's the one who asked you to help
your loved one or to accept help from him or her! And be
assured that you remain in our prayers and in the
prayers of all the members of the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver worldwide.
- - -
Check your local TV listings to see if any of the local
Holy Week services are being broadcast in your area. And
you can go on-line to "attend" the services at St.
Peter's Basilica in Rome. Here are a couple of resources
for that:
As mentioned last week, here are some other resources,
too: Audio: The
daily readings for Mass. Podcasts: The
Rosary and the
Liturgy of the Hours. (Here's how these can be
downloaded on to a
computer or an
iPod or an
MP3 player. Or, you can play the item on your
computer without downloading it.) Videos: Today's
Mass.
A
reflection on today's readings. (And this is a nice
educational series on the sacraments. Check out the
one on the Anointing of the Sick if this is something
you and your care-receiver have been considering.)
The
sights, the sounds, the smells . . . a hospital
seems like a different world to most of us who
aren’t in the medical field. It’s a foreign place
where we don’t know the language, the rules, the
customs. So when your loved one must enter one,
often it’s not just a time of worry and fear, but
also a time of confusion, both for your
care-receiver and for you.
These are some suggestions for making the
experience easier:
We're so pleased to welcome Heidi R. of California as the newest member of the
Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep
her and her intentions
in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and
yours.
Again
this week we cordially invite you to join the Friends
of St. John the Caregiver. (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers). You can:
bout
the games in Beijing in our August 4, 2008,
and included both for the March
"Catholic Caregivers" flier. Here are two excerpts:
technically
perhaps we should say violet and rose, not purple and
pink.) Like Advent's Gaudete Sunday, Lent's Laetare
Sunday -- with its pink vestments -- is a reminder in
the middle of a penitential season that life isn't all
penance. That, truly, there are reasons to hope, and to
to rejoice.
ones we like:
because
of your duties as a caregiver or your limitations as a
care-receiver but -- as we've said before -- be assured
that God understands. He's the one who asked you to help
your loved one or to accept help from him or her! And be
assured that you remain in our prayers and in the
prayers of all the members of the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver worldwide.