'Dear Friends' June 2011

Week of June 6, 2011 Prayer Requests    Your Care-receiver's Spiritual Health Dear Friends:          A new month means a new flier at CatholicCaregivers.com. The subject for June is your care-receiver's spiritual health. This is how the flier begins:        It’s not really possible for you to know your care-receiver’s spiritual health. Ultimately, none of us knows the state of another person’s soul. That’s between the person and God.        Still, we can see indications of spiritual health, and we have ways to foster it. The Catholic Church exists to foster it! We can observe changes. If your dad always took a mile-long walk after dinner but now he doesn’t, something could have changed physically. In the same way, if your wife never missed Sunday Mass but now her attendance is hit-or-miss, something may well have changed spiritually.        A good way to begin that “spiritual checkup” for your care-receiver is to look at these changes. Keep in mind that the reason for the change may or may not have a spiritual basis. For instance, there’s a difference between your wife being unable to go to church because she no longer drives and her not wanting to go to church  because she’s angry at God after the death of a loved one. . . .        You can read more here and see it as a Spirituality Topic here. We've also posted new Bulletin Briefs and Prayers of Intercession at CatholicCaregivers.com. - - -         This week we're so pleased to welcome Kris T. of California and Catherine H. of Texas as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of June 13, 2011 Prayer Requests    The Holy Spirit's Gift of Knowledge Dear Friends:          We thought we'd mark Pentecost Sunday with a look at one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit: knowledge. This is from Bill's book, "The Seeker's Guide to the Holy Spirit":        Sometimes our education has nothing to do with our schooling. We learn things we had no intention of learning, things we never, ever wanted to know.        Time and again, in every life, there are the “clubs” we’re forced to join. There are ones we never wanted to be a member of, never dreamed we’d be a member of, but here we are. And because we are, we have a knowledge that can allow us to help other new members.        The list is endless. Drug addiction. Mental retardation. Spina bifada. Divorce. Sexual abuse. Domestic violence. Hearing loss. The death of a loved one at a young age. [Caregiving!] And on and on.        If most of the time gaining knowledge, becoming educated, is like climbing a flight of stairs -- taking many small steps -- then this is more like being thrown down a flight of stairs. More than a flight. An endless number. And, unlike school, we don’t know when we’ll be done. We don’t know where we’ll be when we’re through with a particular “grade.”        We simply fall. We simply hurt.        And when we finally seem to stop, to reach the bottom, there are bumps that turn into bruises. Lacerations that turn into scars. Broken bones that turn into deformities. We have changed. We have been changed. Forever.        We can’t “unlearn” what has happened. We can try to ignore the experience but that knowledge is there. That insider’s view, that gut-wrenching lesson or series of lessons. On addiction. Chronic depression. Cancer. Divorce. Abuse. Violence. Unemployment. Illness. Death.        And where, in this, is God? Where, in this, is an all-merciful, all-loving Creator? Where was he as we tumbled and where is he as we find ourselves in a broken, battered heap?        Again, we learn. We can learn that, at times in our lives, God doesn’t seem merciful or loving. He doesn’t seem to care at all. We can learn that sometimes in the valley of the shadow of death, we see only death and not the shepherd.        We can learn that we can get angry at God. We can feel betrayed by him. We can yell at him. We can curse him. We can storm away from him.        We can gain all kinds of knowledge we never imagined, never dreamed possible.        And whether we feel his presence or not, whether we acknowledge his presence or not, God is with us. Theologians may point out that God doesn’t create evil or rain down evil but he allows it as the natural and logical consequence of sin. It’s not that we, as an individual, are such a notorious sinner that we somehow deserve what has happened to us or to our loved one but, rather, living in a world steeped in sin, sometimes we or they are its victim.        But those words may bring little comfort. No comfort.        Because of what we’ve been through, what we’re going through, we know that. Now we know.        Now we know why some people are so angry with God. So angry with the Church and what they see as pious prattle. So angry with do-gooders who spout religious adages as if they were talking greeting cards.        We know pain and despair and abandonment because they’re what we feel.        And because we know it, because we feel it, we can know what another is going through, what another is feeling. The Holy Spirit may offer us an opportunity to help someone else who is hurting as we did. The opportunity to use this gift, this knowledge.        We can do things now we weren’t able to do before that pain, that sorrow, that grief. We can do things now because of that heartache. And the things we can do, based on what we have learned, can be tremendous. They can be astounding. Of course knowledge is power. Its source is our all-powerful God. Come, Holy Spirit! - - -         This week we're so pleased to welcome Roseanne F-C. of Maryland and Janice K. and Filomena E. of Texas as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of June 20, 2011 Prayer Requests    U.S. Bishops to Caregivers: You Are 'Doing Enormously Important Work' Dear Friends:        Last week the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops met in our neck of the woods (the Seattle area) and approved a policy statement on physician-assisted suicide titled To Live Each Day with Dignity.        This is how it begins:        To live in a manner worthy of our human dignity, and to spend our final days on this earth in peace and comfort, surrounded by loved ones—that is the hope of each of us. In particular, Christian hope sees these final days as a time to prepare for our eternal destiny.        Today, however, many people fear the dying process. They are afraid of being kept alive past life’s natural limits by burdensome medical technology. They fear experiencing intolerable pain and suffering, losing control over bodily functions, or lingering with severe dementia. They worry about being abandoned or becoming a burden on others.        Our society can be judged by how we respond to these fears. A caring community devotes more attention, not less, to members facing the most vulnerable times in their lives. When people are tempted to see their own lives as diminished in value or meaning, they most need the love and assistance of others to assure them of their inherent worth.        The healing art of medicine is an important part of this assistance. Even when a cure is not possible, medicine plays a critical role in providing "palliative care"—alleviating pain and other symptoms and meeting basic needs. Such care should combine medical skill with attention to the emotional as well as spiritual needs of those facing the end of life.        And these are a few excerpts that talk about caregiving:        --The sufferings caused by chronic or terminal illness are often severe. They cry out for our compassion, a word whose root meaning is to "suffer with" another person. True compassion alleviates suffering while maintaining solidarity with those who suffer. It does not put lethal drugs in their hands and abandon them to their suicidal impulses, or to the self-serving motives of others who may want them dead. It helps vulnerable people with their problems instead of treating them as the problem.          --Effective palliative care also allows patients to devote their attention to the unfinished business of their lives, to arrive at a sense of peace with God, with loved ones, and with themselves. No one should dismiss this time as useless or meaningless. Learning how to face this last stage of our earthly lives is one of the most important and meaningful things each of us will do, and caregivers who help people through this process are also doing enormously important work.          --We should ensure that the families of people with chronic or terminal illness will advocate for the rights of their loved ones, and will never feel they have been left alone in caring for their needs. The claim that the "quick fix" of an overdose of drugs can substitute for these efforts is an affront to patients, caregivers and the ideals of medicine.        When we grow old or sick and we are tempted to lose heart, we should be surrounded by people who ask "How can we help?" We deserve to grow old in a society that views our cares and needs with a compassion grounded in respect, offering genuine support in our final days. The choices we make together now will decide whether this is the kind of caring society we will leave to future generations. We can help build a world in which love is stronger than death.       There's much more information on all this here.        - - -         This week we're so pleased to welcome Janet D. of Colorado as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Week of June 27, 2011 Prayer Requests    Prayers for 'Daddy' Dear Friends:        When we talk to caregivers we assure them that members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver are praying for them and for their care-receivers. We're experiencing that in a very special way this week. Monica's father, Russ Faudree, died peacefully on Friday, June 24, at the age of 97. (You can read more about him here.)        On behalf of Monica's mother, Terry; the six "kids"; and the grandchildren and great-grandchildren, thank you for those prayers.        Be assured that you and your loved ones remain in ours. Monica and her father, Russ Faudree, on his 97th birthday, May 4, 2011. - - -        If your loved one is near death, you may find this traditional prayer comforting. Monica did. Prayer of Commendation        When the moment of death seems near, the following prayer may be said: I commend you, my dear brother (sister), to almighty God and entrust you to your Creator. May you return to him who formed you from the dust of the earth. May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life. May Christ, who was crucified for you, bring you freedom and peace. May Christ, who died for you, admit you into his garden of paradise. May Christ, the true Shepherd, acknowledge you as one of his flock. May he forgive all your sins and set you among those he has chosen. May you see your Redeemer face to face and enjoy the vision of God for ever. Amen. - - -         This week we're so pleased to welcome Warren R. of Nebraska and Therese C. of South Carolina as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver. Please keep them and their  intentions in your prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.       And we cordially invite you to join the Friends of St. John the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include YourAgingParent.com and CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about becoming a member here.        No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both (including quite a few former caregivers).        You can:         sign up on-line here                 or call us toll-free at 1-800-392-JOHN (5646)                or print and mail an application form.        God bless you!                                                           Monica and Bill To contact us To join FSJC To make a donation To view or make prayer requests Materials order form Past "Dear Friends" letters "Among Friends" quarterly newsletter