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"Dear Friends"
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"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
Weeks of August 12 and
19, 2013
Prayer Requests
When
Your Care-receiver Leaves You
Dear Friends:
(This is a piece for grieving care-receivers that we
wrote several years ago.) This Thursday the Church celebrates the feast of the
Assumption,
Mary's being taken to heaven, body and soul.
It's good to consider--
to keep in mind -- that this event also marks the ends
of St. John's caregiving duties. That's why the feast of
the Assumption is a special day for all caregivers
grieving the loss of their loved ones.
It seems safe to presume that all the
members of the early Christian community mourned Mary's
leaving them but -- as Our Lady's primary caregiver --
St. John's sorrow, and joy, were unique.
Sorrow because he missed her. Joy because his
faith told him she was now in heaven with her Son. There was that combination of emotions
whether or not Mary physically died.
The Church doesn't
say, definitively, one way or another on that issue. As
the Encyclopedia of Mary explains, the Assumption
is:
A dogma of faith Pope Pius XII solemnly defined on
November 1, 1950. In his apostolic constitution
Munificentissimus Deus, Pius wrote: "We
pronounce, declare and define it to be a divinely
revealed dogma: that the Immaculate Mother of God,
the ever Virgin Mary, having completed the course of
her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into
heavenly glory."
Pius' use of the phrase "was assumed"
indicates that the Assumption is different from
Christ’s Ascension. And his "having completed the
course of her earthly life" does not say whether or
not Mary actually experienced death.
Tradition favors the theological opinion
that Mary died and was most likely buried near the
Garden of Gethsemane in Jerusalem. And, as with the
body of Christ, her body did not undergo
decomposition after her death and burial but was
assumed intact. Theologians note that, as in the
case of the Resurrection, what the dogma of the
Assumption defines is seen as a reality and a truth
only by those with the gift of faith, by those who
accept and respond to what is contained in Divine
Revelation.
There is no explicit biblical evidence for the
Assumption but, based on theological reasoning and
Tradition, there is the implicit belief that Christ
took his mother to himself at the moment of her
leaving this life because she is one declared "full
of grace" and the "highly favored daughter" of God
the Father (Lk 1:28).
Of course, the caregiver and care-receiver aspects of
this feast aren't just for caregivers whose loved
ones have passed away. Many, many caregivers can testify
that as their care-receivers have become more ill, their
loved ones have "left them," little by little. The loss
-- and the grieving -- don't begin with death. It can
start weeks, months or years before that day.
May Our Lady in Need and St. John the
Caregiver be with all those whose care-receivers have
left them, with all those whose care-receivers are
gradually leaving them.
- - -
This is the
Topic that talks more about
this: Caregiver
Grief: Sorting Out, Moving On, Remembering.
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Jennylyn G. of
California as the newest member of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver. Please keep her and her intentions in your
prayers. She has promised to pray for you and yours.
And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Bill
To
contact us
To
join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make
prayer
requests
Materials
order form
Past
"Dear Friends"
letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
Week of August 26, 2013
Prayer Requests
The
Fine Art of Focusing
Dear Friends:
Last spring I was out for a walk in an unfamiliar
neighborhood when a middle-aged woman came out of her
house. She was followed by an older woman who had a
number of physical disabilities. "It's a beautiful day,"
I commented and the younger woman agreed. "I heard it's
going to rain tomorrow," I added, "but at least we have
today."
The older woman looked at me. "That's all we ever
have," she said simply.
I found that bit of wisdom helpful during this
time of grieving since Monica's death in early January.
It's the same advice a cousin -- who had caregiver
experience -- offered us during Monica's final year.
Focus on what you have to do today. On what you can
do today.
Obviously, that doesn't mean don't plan ahead. (You
have to make that doctor's appointment, for example!)
But it does mean it isn't helpful to become wrapped up,
tied up, in what may be coming. Or even what is
almost certainly coming.
By definition a caregiver is concerned about someone
and, I know, it's impossible to stop worrying altogether
or to completely avoid thinking about what may be in
store. Still, realizing you may be a little too focused
on what may be, or will be, coming can help you handle
what has to be faced today.
And it can help you better appreciate and wisely spend
the time you still have with your loved one.
"So do not worry about tomorrow; tomorrow will take
care of itself," Jesus says in Matthew 6:34 (the
Jerusalem Bible translation). "Each day has enough
troubles of its own."
Amen!
- - -
This week we're so pleased to welcome Charles O. of
Nigeria and Cynthia L. of Pennsylvania as the newest members of the Friends of St. John the
Caregiver. Please keep them and their intentions in your
prayers. They have promised to pray for you and yours.
And we cordially invite you to join
the Friends of St. John
the Caregiver! (FSJC's programs include
YourAgingParent.com and
CatholicCaregivers.com.) You can find out more about
becoming a member here.
No meetings, no dues. All we ask is that
you pray for caregivers and those receiving care. Our members include
caregivers, care-receivers, and those who support both
(including quite a few former caregivers).
You can:
sign up on-line here
or call us toll-free at
1-800-392-JOHN (5646)
or
print and mail an application form.
God
bless you!
Bill
To
contact us
To
join
FSJC
To make a
donation
To view or make
prayer
requests
Materials
order form
Past
"Dear Friends"
letters
"Among Friends" quarterly newsletter
through some
of Monica's things and deciding what to keep, what to keep
for now anyway, what to give away, and what to toss. I
donated her walker to a local charity but kept the pouch
that fit on the front cross bars. Inside one of the
pockets was a copy of the